Breathe Me
by I Give Headaches To Aspirin
Summary: Every mech has a past. It can be good or bad. But everyone has one.
1. Moonlight A

This is a tribute to Cover Me by Black Dragon Queen. It's an amazing story and you should SOOO read it. Barricade may seem VERY OC in this fic. If i feel like it, I'll do loads of different fics account this but with the same beginning. I was planning a fic like this. But it had a rather big change in it. I might put it up. I might not. XD Review and tell me if i should. The song is Breathe me by Sia. It's a beautiful song and i thought it fitted Barricade in Cover Me. I was listening to the song today, and Barricade came to mind. The sad part of his life. I'm going to do my best to flick between his old life and the current time.

A = current time. B = past. You will need to know this to understand the fic.

Breathe me

"Are we _ever _gunna get back to Tranquillity?"

Barricade was getting impatient. He swore he was going to go insane before they got off this ship. The fact that everyone hated him for denying the link with Sam made it 10 times worse. But he wasn't going to put the human in danger because of his own life and problems. He was like a bad luck charm. Everything went wrong when he was around.

"Barricade, we'll get there soon. Just be patient." Optimus said.

Barricade walked to the other side of the ship. Swearing quietly as he went. The Prime shook his head as the Decepticon walked away. He could see that the young mech was troubled. Barricade on the other hand, couldn't care less what the mechs who were staring at him thought. They could think and say what they wanted.

Night soon fell and everyone was in recharge. Barricade sat on the edge of the ship. His armour practically _glowing _in the moonlight. He was beautiful without being vain like Sunstreaker. He was beautiful in his own way.

One of the many secrets he kept from everyone, was that he loved to sing. He acted like he couldn't follow a tune to make them think he would be terrible at anything musical. He didn't want attention. He just wanted to stay in the dark, unnoticed. It wasn't like he could do it much anyway. Decepticons didn't appreciate the creative side some mechs had.

The reject began singing softly. His voice flowing over the water.

_Help, I have done it again _

_I have been here many times before _

_Hurt myself again today_

_And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame _

_Be my friend _

_Hold me, wrap me up _

_Unfold me _

_I am small _

_I'm needy _

_Warm me up _

_And breathe me _

_Ouch I have lost myself again _

_Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, _

_Yeah I think that I might break _

_I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe_

_Be my friend _

_Hold me, wrap me up _

_Unfold me _

_I am small _

_I'm needy _

_Warm me up _

_And breathe me _

_Be my friend _

_Hold me, wrap me up _

_Unfold me _

_I am small _

_I'm needy _

_Warm me up _

_And breathe me _

As he finished the song, he sighed. If his caretaker hadn't dumped his on the streets, he might have had a normal life. He wouldn't have had to steal to survive. He wouldn't have had to sleep on the streets night after night. He wouldn't have had to kill someone to defend himself. The moon continued to glow, and Barricade continued to think about a normal life.

Sorry it was so short. This _will _be continued. Even if i have to die trying. And my other fics have a major writers block. Sorry people. Hope you read this and enjoy, especially you BDQ.


	2. Twilight B

I just had to use TFA Blitzwing in this. It was essential. You will be seeing a lot of the random side. Icy, hothead and random are the names of his sides. Aka, Calm, Angry/Egoistic, Random.

Twilight

The alleys were dark as the mech ran through them. A small form was cradled in his arms. There was shouting and screaming as he ran. Eventually he turned a corner and ran through to the streets. It was quiet around there. He ran to the next alley and stopped.

The noise faded.

The small form in the mech's arms shifted and ruby red optics stared up at him. The mech sighed. The sparkling was in too much danger. He couldn't keep him. He'd be safer on the streets. With a gang. The mech stood up and ran towards a warehouse. He made sure the sparkling had fallen back into recharge before he placed him in front of the entrance. He knocked on the door and with one more fond look at the sparkling, he ran.

The warehouse door opened. A large red mech filled the doorway. He looked around. Then looked down. His optics fell on the sparkling. His optics softened. He picked up the sparkling and walked inside.

Blood

Blood walked into the warehouse. The sparkling resting in his arms. _He such a small thing. He shouldn't be out here with us rejects. He should be home. _As the big red mech walked in the other mechs looked up. They fixed their optics on the sparkling. One of them was instantly over and babbling.

"Oh Primus he is so cute can we keep him oh please oh please oh please can we?"

Blood pushed the mech away.

"Quit it Blitzwing. You'll wake him. And no, we can't keep him, he shouldn't be on the streets. He needs to be with a family that cares about him. Who can take care of him."

One of the mechs at the table snorted.

"Calling us irresponsible?" Said Rally. His twin, Track, nodded.

"How could ya say dat mech? We thought we were ya bros."

"Yeah mech, dat's disrespectin us."

"Shut up guys. You know what he meant." Flare said, walking into the room.

Altogether, the mechs were one of the most feared gangs on Cybertron. They were called Madness. The name was fitting as they _were _kind of crazy in the personality department.

"Guys. He's a sparkling, were a gang. He's not safe with us."

Flare gave him a look. "Are you serious? We're one of the most feared gangs. No one would dare touch him if we protected him."

Blood looked down at the sparkling. He really was tiny. A black protoform. He looked so innocent. And cute. Who in the right mind would dump him? He froze as the sparkling moved. His bright red optics looked up at him. His optics were exactly like jewels. Blood dreaded what the kid's reaction would be.

He heard voices as he woke. Unfamiliar voices. He onlined his optics and saw a red mech looking down at him. This mech wasn't his caretaker. Who was he? He struggled in the mechs arms but he was too strong. He glared up and the mech laughed.

"Jeez, he has a fraggin death glare on him."

"Can he talk?"

"How do i know?"

"Ask him something!"

The red mech looked down again.

"Can you talk?"

The sparkling stared up and then slowly shook his head.

"Do you have a name?"

He shook his head again.

"OH! I KNOW! NAME HIM FLUFFY!"

You could practically see the mechs sweat drop. They looked at each other.

"Let's use the net." They said at the same time. The strange mech pouted. "WELL _I _THOUGHT FLUFFY WAS A _GOOD _NAME!"

The red mech walked over to the computer desk, still holding the sparkling in one arm.

"Okaaay. Name's that haven't been used before. Let's see, Phoenix, Dread, Storm, Engine, Suspension, Hydro? C'mon what is with all these names? I mean who names a sparkling after a car part?"

The sparkling giggled. He didn't like the sound of any of those names either. He watched the screen as the names went by. Suddenly, he jerked up and squealed. He pointed at a name on the screen. The red mech looked down at him, and back to the screen.

"Runner, huh? Okay, that has a nice ring to it. Well, welcome to Madness Runner."

I am writing the next chapter now. This is the past, i haven't decided whether the next chapter will be past or present. Probably past. Anyway. REVIEW!


	3. Dawn A

AH I FORGOT THE DICLAIMER!

Me: I own EVERYTHING! MWHAHAHAHA!

Barricade: Gal, you just killed a puppy.

Me: ... WA?

Barricade: Every time you lie, a puppy dies.

Me: NOOOOOOO! I TAKE IT BACK! I OWN NOTHING!

Barricade: Good, you saved a puppy this time. :D

Me: :D YAAAY!

Dawn

The sun started rising. The water was glinting with the sunlight now. Barricade sighed as he realised the silence was over. Now he wouldn't be able to think. Damn it.

"JETFIRE, JETSTORM, QUIT IT NOW!"

Barricade sighed. So Sideswipe was awake. And he just woke everyone else up. There was more shouting as the mechs started having a go at the red twin for waking them up. The reject scowled as he felt the beginnings of a _major _processor ache rise. Finally he had enough.

"WILL YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP!"

The deck was silent. Barricade's outburst had shocked them. Barricade shook his head, as if shaking a bad thought out of it, pulled his legs up to his chest, and rested his head on them, looking out across the ocean. Everything was quiet for a while, no one rising above a whisper for fear of angering the Decepticon even more.

Optimus was watching Barricade thoughtfully. He had been right about the young mech being troubled. He had woken at one point last night and saw that Barricade was _still _awake. By the looks of things, he hadn't recharged at all. Actually, it looked like he hadn't in days. _I think it's time to consult Ratchet._ He commed Ratchet and they walked over to the other side of the ship, out of everyone's audio range.

"What did you call me over here for Prime?" The medic asked.

"I've been watching Barricade and, well ... is it just me or does he look ... _troubled?"_

The medic stared at him for a moment before sighing. "I've been thinking the exact same thing. It might be the link situation. Everyone is kind of giving him the cold shoulder. He looks like he's going crazy inside."

They stayed quiet for a minute, listening to everyone's chatter.

"He looks ... tired too. I don't think he's recharged in a while."

Ratchet's optics darkened as he went into the doom medic mode.

"_How _tired?" Optimus took a step back.

"I don't know. He was awake last night. Looking more upset than usual."

Optimus watched as the medic spun on his heel and marched over to Barricade. The Prime sighed as he had a feeling that this wouldn't end well.

Ratchet

_What kind of glitch does that kid have? _Ratchet thought as he stormed over to Barricade. He was going to knock the kid out with a pole if that meant him getting some rest. As he got closer, he saw what Optimus had meant. The mech was lightly swaying, as if he couldn't support himself. And his optics held a look of sadness, anger and pain. Ratchet cooled down a little. Barricade didn't look fit for a full blown lecture at that moment.

"Barricade?"

The young Decepticon looked up. A mask instantly sliding into place. Ratchet frowned. _He shouldn't be holding his emotions back like that. _

"Barricade, recharge, you need to rest."

Barricade just stared at him, his optics barely registering that the medic was even there. Ratchet sat down next to the youngling.

"Cade'? What's wrong?"

Barricade's tired and dim optics finally focused.

"Ratchet?"

The medic was starting to get worried. If Barricade could hardly remember who he was, then things were getting serious. He needed to rest, _now._

"Yeah Cade'. It's me, Ratchet. You need to recharge. You're making yourself ill."

He watched as the young mech shuddered. The effects of not recharging were starting to take their toll. Ratchet started to panic slightly. If the mech waited any longer, he would be in extreme amounts of pain. And it was already happening. He watched as Barricade jerked. He caught him before he could fall off the side of the boat. He held him tightly as he started to convulse slightly.

"Barricade. Go into recharge _now._"

He could see that the younger mech's systems were beginning to fail. The stress was too much.

"Damn it Cade' don't you _dare _die on me."

He watched as Barricade's optics went offline from lack of energy. But he wasn't in recharge yet.

"DAMN IT!"

The whole deck went silent. Ratchet dragged Barricade back from the edge.

"OPTIMUS! PIN HIM DOWN!" Optimus ran over to Barricade and tried his best to pin the convulsing mech down. Everyone on the deck was staring now. Each and every one of them had worry for the young mech in their optics. Sam was almost having a freak out.

Bumblebee, was a whole different story.

The scout was frozen on the spot, staring at Barricade's form with wide optics. Ratchet rushed back over with multiple tools. He was instantly by Barricade's side. Trying _everything _to try and get the mech to wake up again. He succeeded. The commander back arched off the deck as he let out a strangled scream of pain. Optimus pinned him down again. Ratchet turned to the Prime.

"Prime, i'm going to try and put him into a forced recharge. But i need you to keep him _still._"

Optimus stared at Ratchet. _Does he seriously think that's possible? _He looked back down and fixed his optics on the convulsing mech. He managed to keep Barricade as still as possible while Ratchet fiddled with the Deception's recharge settings. As Ratchet did something, Barricade's optics whitened out and he fell back down the deck offline. Ratchet let out a sigh.

"He should be fine now. Just like i said. He needs rest."


	4. Solar B

Solar

Runner had been with Madness for years now. The mechs were easy to become friends with.

Blood, the leader of the group, had been the red mech who found him.

Then there was Flare, a yellow and orange mech who had a rather sarcastic attitude.

The twins, Track and Rally, were quite hard to live with. They _lived _to annoy everyone. Their pranks had been known to drive Blood mad. They found it hilarious.

The most hard to live with was the final member, Blitzwing. He had three personalities, Icy, Hothead and Random. And there was no telling when they would pop up to the surface. The mech was crazy. And he fit right into Madness.

Runner had started school ages ago. He was 16 now.

He had a reputation. He could drive even the most patient mech up the wall and through the ceiling. He was the prankster of the school. The fact that he could walk silently and that his systems ran silently didn't help much. He remembered Blood having a full blown freak out many times in his childhood because of his quiet systems.

The teachers thought that Runner must have had parent who were ashamed of him. Blood just laughed and encouraged him. At the moment, he was walking home from school. He turned a corner and grunted as he collided with someone. He fell to the floor, he bag skidding over to the other side of the alley.

"Aw, sorry mech. You okay?"

Runner looked up and saw a silver youngling with a visor holding his bag. Runner took it back, not looking the other mech in the optics.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He got up and walked away without a backward glance. It wasn't like he'd see the mech again. He walked down the alley and into the warehouse that was his home. It looked run down from the outside, but the inside was a whole different story. Flare was a scientist. He had _quite_ a few experiments around. Not _too_ many though.

Runner cursed as he nearly tripped over an invention. He looked around the room, sighed, and jumped onto the table to walk across _anything _that wasn't an invention. He leapt off the cabinet at the end and walked into the kitchen.

"Blood, c'mon, Flare's inventions are getting ridiculous. I have to climb over the furniture just to get here. Tell him to pick em up."

Blood was sat at the table drinking energon and reading a datapad. He sighed when Runner came in.

"I know. I keep telling him to. But he keeps getting tied into another invention and he forgets."

Runner stared at his adoptive caretaker in disbelief.

"HOW IN THE PIT COULD HE FORGET THAT PRIMUS DAMNED SLAG?"

Blood's head shot up and a smouldering glare was shot the younger mechs way.

"WATCH THAT MOUTH OF YOURS YOUNGLING! THAT LANGUAGE IS INNAPROPRIATE FOR SOMEONE OF YOUR AGE! HOW _DARE _YOU!"

Runner wasn't the affected by the lecture in any way. He had learnt to ignore them. And come back with something sharp.

"It's not like you don't use it, especially when you're talking to your last boyfriend."

The youngling watched as Blood's optics darkened in anger.

"Take it back."

"Make me."

Runner suddenly noticed that the Energon _wasn't_ energon. It was high grade. _Oh slag._ A red hand was suddenly wrapped around his neck and he was lifted off the ground.

"You need to learn discipline youngling." The red mech's voice was threatening.

"Get off, P- Please, Get off." Runner choked.

Blood laughed, but the laugh was full of venom.

"Oh so now you're polite?"

Flare walked into the room and froze. He had a gun out in a second. Track, Rally and Blitzwing also entered straight after, obviously having being commed to the room by Flare.

"Put him downBlood, i don't vant hurt you." Hothead threatened in his usual German accent.

Blood let out a roar and threw Runner across the room. Runner flew through the air until he hit a table, his head cracking off the edge. He lay there on the floor. Everything was fuzzy. He could see the blurs of him family, but that was all. As his sight improved a little, he could see that other mechs had entered the room. He didn't recognise them, a tall white mech and a shorter silver mech. A fight had erupted in the room.

Runner's head felt damp. He moved his hand up to feel and winced in pain. He brought his hand back to his line of sight and froze, staring at his hand.

His hand was stained blue with blood.

He shook as he stared at his life fluid trickling through his fingers. He felt hands on his shoulders. Then he was lifted up into strong arms. It was the white mech. He was looking down at him in concern. He was rushed out of his home.

A hospital came into view and he felt a rush of pain as he moved his head. His vision became slightly blurred as he was rushed into the hospital. The pain worsened and he couldn't stop the scream of agony that forced its way out of his vocaliser.

It felt like his helm was being ripped apart.

That last thing he saw before he blacked out was the flash of a blue visor.

Hope you enjoyed this. That's all i have to say other than REVIEEEEW.

OH WAIT!

I'm glad you liked this fic Black Dragon Queen. : 3


	5. Sunrise A

I do not own Pieces or Your Guardian Angel. Red and The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus do. I love Pieces, such a sad but beautiful tune, and i _so _pictured Barricade singing it.

Sunrise

Barricade awoke with a pained groan. His processor was pounding. And Ratchet was hovering over him, a concerned look in his optics.

"Barricade, you okay?"

Barricade tried to answer but as soon as he opened his mouth to reply, he felt a wave of nausea. He jerked himself over to the side of the ship and purged his tanks. He felt Ratchet's hand on his shoulder, a sign of light comfort that the Con was grateful for.

When he felt like he wasn't about to throw up again he pulled himself back, lying on the floor panting. He'd been in recharge for a while, but that still hadn't stopped him from feeling exhausted. But he wasn't about to let Ratchet find that out.

He forced himself to sit up, with the help of Ratchet. He felt like the pit. Before the medic could stop him, he had leapt up and walked away from the crowd, taking his place on the other side of the ship again. His head was jumbled with thousand of thoughts, Memories, song lyrics, his life, worries etc.

The mechs left him alone for the rest of the day, which he was grateful for. As the moon rose again, so did the music in Barricade. He started to sing the first song that came into his head.

I'm here again

A thousand miles away from you

A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am

I tried so hard

Thought I could do this on my own

I've lost so much along the way

Then I'll see your face

I know I'm finally yours

I find everything I thought I lost before

You call my name

I come to you in pieces

So you can make me whole

I've come undone

But you make sense of who I am

Like puzzle pieces in your eye

Then I'll see your face

I know I'm finally yours

I find everything I thought I lost before

You call my name

I come to you in pieces

So you can make me whole!

I tried so hard! So hard!

I tried so hard!

Then I'll see your face

I know I'm finally yours

I find everything I thought I lost before

You call my name

I come to you in pieces

So you can make me whole

So you can make me whole

As he finished the song he heard a soft voice talk.

"You have a beautiful singing voice."

The Con froze and looked around. It was Optimus. He sat down next to Barricade.

"Don't tell anyone i can sing."

The Prime looked confused. "Why?"

Barricade shrugged. "I dunno."

The Prime stayed silent for a moment. "Can you sing again? I just want to hear something like that again."

Barricade stared at Optimus for a moment. Than sighed.

When I see your smile

Tears run down my face

I can't replace

And now that I'm strong

I have figured out

How this world turns cold

and it breaks through my soul

And I know I'll find

deep inside me

I can be the one

I will never let you fall(let you fall)

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all(though it all)

Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Seasons are changing

And waves are crashing

And stars are falling all for us

Days grow longer and nights grow shorter

I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)

Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart

Please don't throw that away

Cuz I'm here for you

Please don't walk away and

Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will

Pull my strings just for a thrill

And I know I'll be okay

Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all

Even if saving you sends me to heaven

[to fade]

"Your voice really is beautiful, i don't get why you don't want people to know, your voice would've been helpful for some mechs, and it would have given them something to hold onto, music does that." The Prime said, mesmerised by the Decepticon's unlikely singing voice.

"I don't really want that kind of attention. I've always been kinda shy, which i hate to admit."

Optimus laughed. Barricade wasn't really all that bad when you got to know him a little better. He was a friendly mech hiding behind a wall, afraid to come out, afraid that someone would see him. But he really had no need to.

"There's no harm in being shy. Not everyone is overly confident. Some just like the quiet."

"Yeah, guess so." Barricade sighed.

"You know, you should really recharge, we don't want Ratchet on your back _again._"

The RTP commander laughed. "Yeah, that would be a _lovely _encounter but to be honest ... i choose _life_."

Optimus laughed again, Barricade's was contagious. As was his smile.

"Well, night flame boy."

"Good night Cade."

Sorry if this is short. I _will_ continue this if it kills me.


	6. Eclipse B

As Runner awoke, he heard beeping. A spark monitor? And talking, Flare, Blitzwing, the twins, and some voices he didn't recognise. But they were far away. He heard intakes next to him and he slowly opened his optics. It was the youngling with the blue visor.

"Hey, you're awake. That's ... good. You feel okay?"

"Y-Yeah, I saw you earlier ..."

"Yeah, I'm Jazz by the way, I just moved here. And the white and silver mechs were my caretakers."

"I-I'm Runner."

"Nice to meet you Runner, you've been out for a while."

"How long?"

"About ... a week."

"... A week?"

"Yup."

Runner fell back down to the berth with a sigh. His life was messed up, all because of his big mouth, and high grade.

"When can i get outta here?" He asked.

"Today, if you want." Jazz replied.

"Yeah, i wanna get outta here, i _hate _hospitals."

Jazz laughed.

"C'mon then, let's get outta here."

Jazz led him out of the room and over to a desk. They gave him a quick check-up and then let him go. Walking down the street, Runner found himself flinching away from any red mechs. It didn't go un-noticed by Jazz.

"You okay Runner?" He asked.

"Huh? Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"Never mind."

They walked in silence for a few minutes.

"You know, you would have graduated today, if you hadn't been in hospital. You're a free mech. No more high school."

Runner stared at Jazz. He had completely forgotten about graduation. He'd had an apartment set up for a while. So he was ready to go. He grinned as he walked.

"WHOOO, NO MORE HIGH SCHOOL!" Some mechs were staring at him now, but he didn't care. Jazz was laughing, also making a fool of himself. They ran through, almost acting like they were drunk, a few Enforcers gave them a strange look, but Runner and Jazz just laughed and waved, the Enforcers waved back, grinning and shaking their helms at the young mechs. Runner and Jazz started singing at the top of their voices as they got to the edge of the city, where Runner's new apartment was.

_We can fight our desires__  
__But when we start making fires__  
__We get ever so hot__  
__Whether we like it or not__  
__They say we can love who we trust__  
__But what is love without lust?__  
__Two hearts with accurate devotions__  
__And what are feelings without emotions?___

_I'm going in for the kill__  
__I'm doing it for a thrill__  
__Oh I'm hoping you'll understand__  
__And not let go of my hand__  
__And not let go of my hand___

_I hang my hopes out on the line__  
__Will they be ready for you in time__  
__If you leave them out too long__  
__They'll be withered by the sun__  
__Full stops and exclamation marks__  
__My words stumble before I start__  
__How far can you send emotions?__  
__Can this bridge cross the ocean?___

_I'm going in for the kill__  
__I'm doing it for a thrill__  
__Oh I'm hoping you'll understand__  
__And not let go of my hand__  
__And not let go of my hand___

_Let's go to war__  
__To make peace__  
__Let's be cold__  
__To create heat__  
__I hope in darkness__  
__We can see__  
__And you're not blinded by the light from me___

_I'm going in for the kill__  
__I'm doing it for a thrill__  
__Oh I'm hoping you'll understand__  
__And not let go of my hand_

Jazz was staring at him in awe.

"You're _amazing_." Runner laughed at his shocked look.

"You ain't so bad yourself."

"So ... I guess I'll see ya some other time. Here, take my comm."

"I guess so, and thanks Jazz, I'll make sure i call."

"See ya."

"Bye."

Runner ran up the stairs to his apartment. He'd literally had it ready for months. But he had promised himself, and Madness, that he wouldn't move in until he graduated. Now he had, he was free and away from Blood. He threw himself on his new berth, grinning like an idiot.

He was free.


End file.
